Finally, after three misses, I made it to the ballpark for a game! Which means that this entry is accompanied by a couple of bad photos. Like this one of the players lined up being all national-anthemy:
And this one of the super exciting Giants-Dodgers rivalry giveaway pin:
And it was a satisfying game right up until the 10th inning. Here’s your 100-words-or-less game report:
This was another classic Giants-Dodgers duel. It was evenly balanced at 0-0 until the top of the 4th. Then the Dodgers scored off a Kemp line drive. They clung to that one run lead until the Giants saw their Kemp and raised them a Buster. Posey’s line drive put a run on the board for the home team. At the bottom of the 9th, the score was still 1-1. Fans girded themselves for extra innings. We were trained and ready from the night before. Alas – only one more inning was needed. The Dodgers scored off a Farmer line drive. Ouch.
It was the Home Opener. I had been booked months ago to work that day. Cursing my poor calendar management, I consoled myself with the thought that the Mariners should be easy beats. I could surreptitiously watch the game unfold on Gameday. I’d get a burst of happy chemicals with each run further ahead the Giants went. Sadly, it didn’t go quite as planned. Here’s your hundred words or less game report, as watched on sentence-long iPhone alerts…
Top of 1st: Mariners score four runs. *Try not to show frustration at work* Bottom of 4th: JOE PANIK HOMERS!!! *smiles at everyone* Top of 5th: Mariners score two. *Tear drips into coffee mug* Bottom of 7th: EVAN LONGORIA HOMERS! TWO RUNS SCORE. *heart refills with hope* Bottom of 8th: Blanco scores on a sacrifice fly by Jackson. *punches air to confused stares from colleagues*. Bottom of 9th. Nothing. Not a thing. Game is apparently over. *returns to work. Squeezes stress ball*
It’s April Fool’s day. I spent the first 15 minutes after tonight’s game kind of hoping ESPN would flash up a big “April Fool!” sign. The commentary team would laugh uproariously and confess that we’d all just watched a completely made up game, staged by a bunch of Giants and Dodgers lookalikes. They’d explain that the real game had happened earlier in the day. The Giants won 1-0. Joe Panik scored a home run. Christ Stratton pitched seven scoreless innings. The bullpen didn’t let in any runs. Hunter Strickland closed it out. That didn’t happen. So here is your kind of depressing 100 words or less game report:
First, Chris Stratton pitched three scoreless innings. Then he nearly hit Kyle Farmer with a pitch. So he tried again, and successfully hit him with a pitch. That seemed to rile up the Dodgers. They scored one run in the 4th as a warm-up. Then scored four in the 6th. Then added another four (that they really didn’t need) in the 8th. Tch! Meanwhile, the Giants stranded six men on base. Their bullpen sucked and gave up six runs. Yikes!
It wasn’t all bad though. Buster hit a double in the 6th. Then he stole third. Yay Buster.
It was all looking so good. The Giants were cruising toward a shut-out series against the Dodgers. They were breaking all sorts of start-of-the-season records. And then tonight happened. Here’s your 100-words or less game report:
Imagine we live in a parallel universe where ball games are won by the team with the most runners left on base and the most errors. In that world, the Giants kicked the Dodger’s baseball-panted butts tonight. They out-hit their nemeses 9 to 4, and won the errors count 3 to 0. Sadly, they didn’t actually get any runs, and the Dodgers scored five, so they lost the game. However, in a positive cut and paste from last night’s report, the bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs. And Derek Holland’s pitching was better than the score suggests.
Well, tonight’s 100-words or less game report may be the easiest I’ll ever write. In fact, I’ve just copied and pasted yesterday’s and made a couple of edits:
Facing their long-time nemeses in the openingsecond game of the season, THE GIANTS WON (this is the only piece of this game report you really need to read). Ty BlachJohnny Cueto pitched much better than his stats say he shouldwhat looked for a while like it was going to be a perfect game, until it wasn’t. He does that against the Dodgers. Joe Panik hit a solo home run. The rest of the Giant’s offence made Clayton KershawKenley Jansen look vincible. The bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs. Hunter Strickland successfully closed and didn’t threaten to punch anyone. An excellent start to the season.
Today’s game was watched surreptitiously on MLB’s Game Day app between work meetings. Two air-punches were successfully turned into arm stretches without anyone seeming to notice. Here’s your 100-word or less game report:
Facing their long-time nemeses in the opening game of the season, THE GIANTS WON (this is the only piece of this game report you really need to read). Ty Blach pitched much better than his stats say he should. He does that against the Dodgers. Joe Panik hit a solo home run. The rest of the Giant’s offence made Clayton Kershaw look vincible. The bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs. Hunter Strickland successfully closed and didn’t threaten to punch anyone. An excellent start to the season.