Game #5 2018, April 3: Giants vs Seattle Mariners (It wasn’t supposed to be like this)

It was the Home Opener. I had been booked months ago to work that day. Cursing my poor calendar management, I consoled myself with the thought that the Mariners should be easy beats. I could surreptitiously watch the game unfold on Gameday. I’d get a burst of happy chemicals with each run further ahead the Giants went. Sadly, it didn’t go quite as planned. Here’s your hundred words or less game report, as watched on sentence-long iPhone alerts…

Top of 1st: Mariners score four runs. *Try not to show frustration at work* Bottom of 4th: JOE PANIK HOMERS!!! *smiles at everyone* Top of 5th: Mariners score two. *Tear drips into coffee mug* Bottom of 7th: EVAN LONGORIA HOMERS! TWO RUNS SCORE. *heart refills with hope* Bottom of 8th: Blanco scores on a sacrifice fly by Jackson. *punches air to confused stares from colleagues*. Bottom of 9th. Nothing. Not a thing. Game is apparently over. *returns to work. Squeezes stress ball*

Final score: Giants 4, Mariners 6.

Game #3, 2018, March 31: Giants vs Dodgers (there are still 160 games left to get over this one)

It was all looking so good. The Giants were cruising toward a shut-out series against the Dodgers. They were breaking all sorts of start-of-the-season records. And then tonight happened. Here’s your 100-words or less game report:

Imagine we live in a parallel universe where ball games are won by the team with the most runners left on base and the most errors. In that world, the Giants kicked the Dodger’s baseball-panted butts tonight. They out-hit their nemeses 9 to 4, and won the errors count 3 to 0. Sadly, they didn’t actually get any runs, and the Dodgers scored five, so they lost the game. However, in a positive cut and paste from last night’s report, the bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs. And Derek Holland’s pitching was better than the score suggests.

Final score: Giants 0, Dodgers 5.