Game #5 2018, April 3: Giants vs Seattle Mariners (It wasn’t supposed to be like this)

It was the Home Opener. I had been booked months ago to work that day. Cursing my poor calendar management, I consoled myself with the thought that the Mariners should be easy beats. I could surreptitiously watch the game unfold on Gameday. I’d get a burst of happy chemicals with each run further ahead the Giants went. Sadly, it didn’t go quite as planned. Here’s your hundred words or less game report, as watched on sentence-long iPhone alerts…

Top of 1st: Mariners score four runs. *Try not to show frustration at work* Bottom of 4th: JOE PANIK HOMERS!!! *smiles at everyone* Top of 5th: Mariners score two. *Tear drips into coffee mug* Bottom of 7th: EVAN LONGORIA HOMERS! TWO RUNS SCORE. *heart refills with hope* Bottom of 8th: Blanco scores on a sacrifice fly by Jackson. *punches air to confused stares from colleagues*. Bottom of 9th. Nothing. Not a thing. Game is apparently over. *returns to work. Squeezes stress ball*

Final score: Giants 4, Mariners 6.

Game #2, 2018, Mar 30: Giants vs Dodgers (the jolly good start to the season continues)

Well, tonight’s 100-words or less game report may be the easiest I’ll ever write. In fact, I’ve just copied and pasted yesterday’s and made a couple of edits:

Facing their long-time nemeses in the ~~opening~~ second game of the season, THE GIANTS WON (this is the only piece of this game report you really need to read). ~~Ty Blach~~ Johnny Cueto pitched ~~much better than his stats say he should~~ what looked for a while like it was going to be a perfect game, until it wasn’t. ~~He does that against the Dodgers~~. Joe Panik hit a solo home run. The rest of the Giant’s offence made ~~Clayton Kershaw~~ Kenley Jansen look vincible. The bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs. Hunter Strickland successfully closed and didn’t threaten to punch anyone. An excellent start to the season.

Final score: Giants 1, Dodgers 0.

Records tweet

Game #1, 2018, Mar 29: Giants vs Dodgers (A jolly good start to the season)

Today’s game was watched surreptitiously on MLB’s Game Day app between work meetings. Two air-punches were successfully turned into arm stretches without anyone seeming to notice. Here’s your 100-word or less game report:

Facing their long-time nemeses in the opening game of the season, THE GIANTS WON (this is the only piece of this game report you really need to read). Ty Blach pitched much better than his stats say he should. He does that against the Dodgers. Joe Panik hit a solo home run. The rest of the Giant’s offence made Clayton Kershaw look vincible. The bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs. Hunter Strickland successfully closed and didn’t threaten to punch anyone. An excellent start to the season.

Final Score: Giants 1, Dodgers 0

The happy news from my phone, received with joy between meetings.