Once again, I had tickets to attend the game. Once again, workload triumphed and the game turned out to be a KNBR background distraction. And what a happy distraction this one was! Here, with pleasure, is your 100-words-or-less game report:
Cueto pitches. Great hair. Great shimmy. No sign of blisters. He only gives up one run. And also this happened:
First run walked in. Second run scored on a wild pitch. Can this game get any better? Third run scored on a Crawford sacrifice fly. Then…. Hernandez homers! Belt homers! Sandoval homers (three runs score)! Crawford homers! Belt’s single so Hundley scores feels like an anticlimax. The bullpen didn’t suck and didn’t give up any runs.
Giants score as many home runs in this game as they did in entire 2018 season (please don’t fact check this).
Final score: Giants 10, Mariners 1.
It was the Home Opener. I had been booked months ago to work that day. Cursing my poor calendar management, I consoled myself with the thought that the Mariners should be easy beats. I could surreptitiously watch the game unfold on Gameday. I’d get a burst of happy chemicals with each run further ahead the Giants went. Sadly, it didn’t go quite as planned. Here’s your hundred words or less game report, as watched on sentence-long iPhone alerts…
Top of 1st: Mariners score four runs. *Try not to show frustration at work* Bottom of 4th: JOE PANIK HOMERS!!! *smiles at everyone* Top of 5th: Mariners score two. *Tear drips into coffee mug* Bottom of 7th: EVAN LONGORIA HOMERS! TWO RUNS SCORE. *heart refills with hope* Bottom of 8th: Blanco scores on a sacrifice fly by Jackson. *punches air to confused stares from colleagues*. Bottom of 9th. Nothing. Not a thing. Game is apparently over. *returns to work. Squeezes stress ball*
Final score: Giants 4, Mariners 6.